Funny Facebook status - hilarious witty statuses

Friday, September 28, 2012

Funny Justin Bieber facebook status updates

If girls sing like girls and boys sing like boys then whats Justin Bieber
Chuck Norris once scared a girl so bad that he is still screaming today! his name... Justin Bieber. ;]
(makes my mom listen to justin beiber)ME: hey mom do u think this is a girl or a boy singing MOM:a girl y..ME:haha it justin beiber..i love my mom
People stop saying Justin Bieber is g*y cause you have to be a guy to be g*y!!! Like if you get
TEACHER:how do u spell g*y? KID:J-U-S-T-I-N-B-I-E-B-E-R! TEACHER:WRONG! TEACHER:u have to be a guy to be g*y!

says if I had an animal spirit, I would be a bear. Looks big and cuddly and harmless. But, tick me off & I will rip your face off.
You know whats better than a Unicorn? A Rainbow Unicorn Know whats better than a Rainbow Unicorn? A Rainbow NINJA Unicorn
Birdie Birdie in the sky, made a poopy in my eye. Me no frown, me no cry. Me just happy cows can't fly !(:
Is wondering HOW did donkey get dragon pregnant?
When dogs leap onto your bed, it's because they adore being with you. When cats leap onto your bed, it's because they adore your bed.

When I die I will put in my will that the person who comes to my funeral dressed as the grim reaper and stays completely silent will get all my money. :)
did u know "Dammit, I'm mad" spelt backwards is "Dammit, I'm mad" :D
one a scale of 1- 10 I give this day the finger
Has anyone ever noticed lol looks like a stick man drowning? So next time you say lol you are killing another stick man... Just sayin :)
wonders how many of the $1 bills in my wallet have been in a stripper's ass crack?

I'M NOT CLUMSY! I thought the floor was lonely, so i gave it a hug!
Have u ever noticed the automatic flush sensors on toilets look an awful lot like hidden cameras? Makes u wonder huh?
anyone can join in ! I'm gonna start a story.. Once upon a time there was...
yesterday someone threw a happy meal at me and said "I'm loving it" So i ran over with a car and said"Nation Wide is on your side"
I don't NEED a brain!!! I have a little thing called Google! :D

Hogwarts Rules: 26- I will not tell Oliver Wood that Quidditch as been permanently canceled.
Rule of Hogwarts 601- I will not bewitch my car and see what happens when snape catches me freeing the house elves in the kitchens
Hogwarts Rules: 15- I will not ask for advice from Fred and/or George on how to wreak havoc either.
You know you are a Harry Potter geek when you and your grandkids are in the yard using tree branches as wands pointing them at each other yelling "Stupefy."
I'm the kind of person that goes to the zoo and looks at the owls and says "You had my Hogwarts letter, didn't you.."

Live 4 today, 4 this moment, bc 2morrow isnt promised. If it makes you happy right now, go 4 it. Looking back, u wont regret what u did do, but what u didnt <3
Things are finally starting to look up, things are better than they were, and I can honestly say I'm happy again. It feels good :)
You have ONE life. Your expiry date might come early or late. So don't waste time. Live your life and live it well and full. LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE!
I love the ones who are in my life and you guys make it truly amazing. I also love the ones who left my life thank you made it fantastic just by leaving :)
I am perfect in my imperfections, secure in my insecurities, happy in my pain, strong in my weaknesses, and beautiful in my own way...I am "myself".