Funny Facebook status ideas

1. Dear Boyfriend, I have taken your wallet out for a walk in the mall because it needed some excercise as it is quite fat. It has already lost a few pounds. Love ya

2. If the government starts taking anymore money out of my paycheck Im gonna have to start listing them as a dependent !

3. My only trick for looking younger is when an 80s song comes on I try to look completley confused and slightly disgusted.

4. We breathe air - Trees make air - Homework kills trees - Homework is killing us

5. Ok...whatever floats your boat and squeaks your ducky .)
6. Has found his happy place! In the fridge, 2nd shelf down! CHOCOLATE ! :)

7. The awkward moment when you walking and trying to look cool and suddenly trip and fall.

8. Have you every looked at someone and tought, ˝I really need to give his parents some condoms so that never happens again˝