Sarcastic funny facebook status

1. Every time I enter a room, I check to see if my family is getting ready to spring an intervention on me. This is normal, right ?

2. My attitude is up to you. If you ignore me, Ill ignore you, if you give me attitude, Ill give you attitude, if you screw me over, Ill f*ck your word up.

3. Is sure that at a certain point, you are going to need to come to terms with your retardation.

4. ( . Y . ) you have now been flashed

5. Thinks getting out of bed this morning was harder than Michael Jackoson in a school playground