Random Funny Facebook statuses

1. Do you wat to make money from Facebook ? Its easy. Just go to your Account Settings, Deactivate your account, and Go To Work !

2. Police officier: ˝Didnt you see the arrows ?˝ Guy in car: ˝I didnt even see the Indians˝

3. Welcomes you to his profile. Straight jackets are by the start menu, a fully stocked bar by the task bar, snaks by the address bar. Enjoy your stay.

4. I called the cops because I had a stalker...turns out, it was my shadow.

5. When I die, my friend will go to my funeral. My good frined will cry at my funeral. My best friends will change my Facebook status to ˝chilling with Jesus.˝

6. Boy kills a butterfly. Dad says:˝no butter for you˝, boy kills a honey bee, dad says:˝no honey for you˝. Dad kills a cat, boy says:˝no p*ssy for you˝

7. Husband is throwing darts at his wifes photo, not a single dart is hitting the target. Wife calls out, ˝Honey, what are you doing?˝ Husband: Missing you !

8. All a girl wants is a guy that is well-mannered, well dressed, humorous, honest and respectful...however thoe man already have boyfriends !!